Coaching is like an archeological journey; I bring experience, tools and methods, but you serve as site and guide. Together we rediscover your past to gain insights into your present and how your worldview came to be.
For children, the world is a traumatic place. To survive and find love, we fragment into limited parts and form unconscious beliefs to protect ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually, which continue to shape us today. These early emotional wounds create our inner child, fragmented parts of our true self meant to protect us. But these overprotective parts also suppress our emotions and suffocate our true self. This disconnect from our feelings and authentic true self is the root of much of our anxiety, depression, anger and even physical diseases.
Facing one’s emotions and memories can be terrifying, requiring immense courage. My goal in coaching is to create a safe space and process to develop courage and bring these unconscious beliefs into awareness. Additionally we work on identifying, strengthening and developing our true self, so we can see the past with mature eyes to heal and become whole.
Jungian analysis offers deep frameworks to understand our psyche and reveal hidden motivations, fears and potential through concepts such as the Shadow, archetypes and the individual and collective unconsciousness as well as dream analysis. By recognizing and understanding our unconscious patterns, we create the opportunity for self acceptance, insight and integration for transformation and healing.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) views the psyche as a complex system of protective parts, each with its own unique perspectives, feelings, and motivations. In IFS, we work to identify, understand and integrate these parts into the true self to heal the past and become whole. By developing the true self and coming into harmony with these protective parts, we see the world from a more grounded, holistic perspective to be our true selves and live our best lives.
The Hero’s Journey is a narrative archetype, described by Joseph Campbell, found in religious and mythological cultures throughout time. It describes the journey of facing oneself and ultimately triumph, redemption and transformation, reflecting the human quest for growth and self-discovery. I help clients apply this archetype to their personal journeys, empowering them to recognize themselves as the hero and their challenges and pain as integral elements that shape their heroic narrative.
I teach mindfulness to develop awareness of the ego and foster a deeper connection with our true selves and others. Love is the absence of separation, and only when we accept all of ourselves and become whole can we truly give and receive love. I refer to ancient teachings, stories, religion and philosophies to offer perspectives of this timeless practice and its teachers. And to show the way has been there throughout time when one is ready.
Psychedelics are a powerful catalyst for healing and integration, and throughout history Plant Teachers and ceremony have served a common purpose: to make the unconscious conscious. In coaching, clients work with psychedelics to build upon the insights gained in our work, breaking through deep-seated limiting beliefs and addictions and enabling them to embrace more expansive perspectives, facilitating healing and a more profound connection with the world.
After my dad’s death, I began a two year journey working with Mushrooms, Ayahuasca, MDMA, San Pedro (Mescaline) and Iboga. Each ceremony helped me confront and release immense emotions that were trapped in my body for decades, many since childhood. with each journey my perspective expanded and integration coaching helped me fully understand these new perspectives, so I could practice and embody them to not fall back into old patterns.
Following an especially profound Iboga journey, I sensed that the plant teachers had taken me as far as they could and I needed to continue my journey through study of timeless teachings, philosophies and practices to better understand myself.
I am on this journey now and continue to discover beautiful insights about myself, courage, love, synchronicity and the universe’s beautiful design.
Here’s an interview I did about my 2 year plant journey to heal.
This is a complex question with several answers. Many teachers such as Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Ram Dass, Nisargadatta, Carl Jung, William James, Alan Watts and Rumi have offered diverse perspectives on healing. I feel all are valid because truth isn’t one thing but all things. Though healing transcends knowledge and only unfolds within us.
Healing begins when our suffering becomes so unbearable we have no choice but to finally find the courage to face ourselves. Surrendering our perspectives and expectations, on ourselves and others, creates space for a more profound perspective that gives the connection and meaning our anxiety, depression and angst have been seeking. From there one can go many ways, but that is where healing begins.
Articulating this profound perspective is not possible, but here is a playlist of many teachers describing it.
Coaching is a profound relationship, and it’s crucial to work with a coach you resonate with, but as Ram Dass said, A coach can only take you as far as they have gone themselves. A coach who does their own work can explain complex topics simply and can help you articulate difficult thoughts and feelings, which you can judge by how much their feedback resonates. By knowing themselves a good coach also knows when to push or hold back based on understanding themselves, to safely but consistently challenge you.
Effective coaching can’t be learned through books; only through one’s own journey. But it is something you should be able to verify by the first call.
I look for one thing: an authentic desire to heal, courage. Otherwise we may not be able to heal much because healing involves facing difficult parts of ourselves, accepting our experience and surrendering certain beliefs. This takes courage because as Maya Angelou said, you cannot practice the other virtues like kindness, presence, forgiveness or love consistently without courage.
If you have the courage to face yourself and heal, I would be honored and excited to join you on that journey.
Symptoms are clues that hold the key to healing. Our emotions, whether depression, anxiety, anger or fear, have underlying causes and identifying and processing these experiences creates a path toward healing and becoming whole.
Equally crucial is the part of you that wants to heal. Suffering separates you from your true self, and the more you separate the more you suffer, so we work to identify and develop your authentic self. In IFS the self is characterized as curious, compassionate, connected, clear, calm, creative and most of all courageous. Progress and healing are evident as you become more of these traits in your journey.
The ability to identify your suffering is a powerful sign and is vital for healing and transformation for several reasons. First it shows self awareness and courage that you can identify the pain versus suppressing it and you’ve allowed yourself to feel and understand it to some degree. Second, by exploring your suffering we can identify a world of attachments, expectations, thoughts and experiences that also reveal a path toward healing. And lastly, even though you may not know this year, you’ve already begun to identify with the authentic self by both feeling your suffering and also finding the courage to want to change it versus suppressing it or projecting it on to others.
As a great friend of mine loves to say, You’ve got to feel it to heal it.
Life is suffering. Buddha said it, Jesus said it, and throughout history great teachers, philosophers, mythologies and religions have reflected on it. Consider your own life and how much suffering you’ve endured to reach this moment. It’s overwhelming sometimes.
Healing requires a tremendous desire or will to change, to surrender to life, and though we don’t realize it yet, our suffering is a gift that creates that will. My mom used to say that God has to slap us sometimes.
To heal we need to accept ourselves fully, good and bad, and let go of expectations. We need be be willing to let go of some things because we are the suffering.
If you have the will to do this difficult work, I would be honored to assist.